Hi my lovelies, welcome to Disability Allyship.
This newsletter is about all things disability and allyship, to give you a fresh perspective and advice that you can implement immediately to make your world more inclusive of disabled people.
Thank you so much for reading and subscribing. If you are finding value in this newsletter do please share with your network. Let’s send ripples of disability inclusion all around the globe.
#Thought - Disabled people have a lot to teach non-disabled people about work.
(Photo by Falaq Lazuardi on Unsplash)
[ID: A man wearing a white shirt, grey shorts and boots is bent over looking tired. He is in the middle of a misty field.]
This past month I have been reading Oliver Burkeman’s Four Thousand Weeks— time and how to use it and it’s got me thinking about time, life, work, hustle, disability and patience. It has taken me 4 decades to feel comfortable with the fact that I simply can’t do things as fast as non-disabled people. I have lived with a certain level of daily guilt that I can’t keep up with the world around me; that somehow my slower productivity makes me less valuable to the world and hence disposable in the world of work.
This guilt is quite a common feeling for many disabled people. In working through this guilt myself I have come to realise that we need to flip it on its head. Instead of guilt, I feel empowered by my slow and methodical lifestyle. The moment I accepted that I could only do things slower, the easier it has become to plan my time, be present, and factor in rest so that I don’t physically and mentally burn out. I have come to value myself more than what the world does. Which is quite a feat in the capitalist and hustle culture that we live in.
Disabled people despair at hustle culture. With more disabled people being self employed than non-disabled people, the pressure is always on to hustle. The irony is that many disabled people are self employed so that they can manage their time and health better, this hustle business often derails this plan for self care. Until now. In the past year I have seen a number of disabled people treading the same path I have, kicking back at hustle culture and stepping into their power to take better care of themselves.
I refuse to feel that guilt anymore and embrace my own value. I don’t say yes to everything anymore, and I manage expectations and time around my ability to get work done. I also factor in time off, being very aware that I work better when I am rested and not in pain. I refuse to sacrifice my health and happiness to the pressures of being more, making more, and doing more.
You can buck hustle culture too. You can value your health and your time above working yourself to death too. And the more of us that do this, that soften and slow down, perhaps the world of work will change to be more accommodating and inclusive of all people. Do you think this is possible? Share your thoughts in the comments.
#Action - We will always ask for help if we need it.
Last week I went up to our local supermarket and ended up using the self service kiosk. I plonked my basket down and started scanning my items. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the person who was manning the kiosks start to zone in on me. They popped up close at my elbow, squished against the perspex divider meant to protect shoppers at the kiosks from catching Covid off each other.
“Do you need any help?”
My gut did that little clenchy anxiety thing and I knew my face was turning red. The guy at the kiosk next to me tossed me a little smile.
“No, thanks.”
“Are you sure? I can help.”
“No thank you.”
“I’ll just be over there if you need any help, that’s what I’m here for.”
“I don’t need help thank you!”
My voice got shorter and shorter with the person. And as if to prove my point that I had been specially picked out for help because of assumptions made about my disability, I watched the person breezily pass by everyone else without any offer to help them.
It is a common frustration for disabled people, to be constantly asked if we need help and not being believed when we say no. Often, disabled people have a way or a system on how they do things and to have people leap in to help can slow down the process or completely derail what the disabled person is trying to achieve.
So my advice to you today is, wait for someone to ask for help (cause trust me, we disabled folk will ask for help if we need it), and if you absolutely feel you must ask someone if they need a hand, if they say no, believe them at face value. We aren’t being modest by rejecting your help, we just genuinely don’t need it.
#Mood - Don’t use disability as a costume this Halloween.
Growing up in Australia in the 80’s and 90’s my only experience of Halloween was through the American movies and TV shows that I watched. I remember watching with envy all the fun the kids seemed to have, dressing up, decorating their houses, going to pumpkin patches and “haunted houses.”
(Photo by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash)
[ID: A small dog is covered in a white sheet with eyes and nose cut out to make the dog look like a little ghost.]
As a grown up, seeing the fun of Halloween spread from the US to Australia and the UK, I love the idea of getting dressed up, watching spooky movies, and eating pumpkin-spiced baked goods. What I don’t love is how many people dressing up for Halloween fall back onto disability tropes in an attempt to be scary.
Whether it is in a movie or on a TV show, when I have been out and about on Halloween, or the costume options on Amazon, the amount of costumes based on mental illness, learning disabilities, facial difference, to name a few, are astounding. And cringe worthy. What people have to think about when deciding on costumes is the privilege their costume embodies (you can take the costume off after your party) and the implications of reenforcing stereotypes that daily harm people who live daily with disability.
I am not being a party pooper, but all I, and the wider disabled community ask, is that you really think about your costume and how it might impact disabled people. And I challenge you to get more creative, don’t just fall back on tropes that link disability to horror— think outside the box and be more imaginative.
#WhoToFollow
(Photo by Chris J. Davis on Unsplash)
[ID: Neon text lights read hashtag tweet tweet. They are mounted on a wall that has plant and bird patterned wallpaper on it.]
Twitter:
@ludawinthesky - Lucy Dawson is busting stereotypes about who is disabled. With a criminology degree, and now a career in modelling, Lucy expresses herself with abandon, be prepared especially to be challenged on disability and sexuality.
@DanWhite1972 - Dan White is writer, broadcaster, columnist and carer. He is very political, because he has to be, being disabled himself and a carer of his disabled daughter, he is constantly fighting for disabled and carer rights.
@DdDisabled - Kimmy Soko runs Dope Black Disabled, a twitter account (and brilliant podcast), and she is one of the kindest, loveliest people I know. Kimmy and the Dope Black Disabled team work hard to amplify the voices and issues of Black disabled people. You need to follow Kimmy and Dope Black Disabled if you really want to work on your allyship across multiple, intersecting points of identity.
Please feel free to comment, let’s keep the conversation going. And please feel free to share on your socials, through email, etc. Also, do let me know if there is anything in particular you would like me to discuss or look at, am always happy for suggestions.
Why not follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Linkedin (I’m not on Tik Tok yet, frankly that platform scares the pants off me). Also, if you would like to book a speaker or consultant on all things disability, ableism, inclusion, accessibility, etc, pop me a line here - elizabeth@elizabethwright.net
Check out the magazines I edit - Disability Review Magazine, Not Your Monolith, and Conscious Being for more thoughts, advice, and insight into disability lived experience.
Liz x
Great share about the 'help' thing. I have watched my own mind, not-know-what-the-right-thing-to-do is. And as a culture, since we are so rubbish at asking for help, can we always assume that disabled people will ask? Is it something you (unfortunately) have to get good at in a way able-bodied people don't?
Nowadays I go for 'friendly face' - to try and convey 'I'm the type of person you could ask if needed' but don't say anything directly...
It took a long time for business to understand the nature of the employee. Most businesses don’t look at employees the way Scrooge did now. I have to believe that business will come to see disabled people in the same light, adding their value to whole, sometimes in ways others cannot. It will happen. It must happen.